Laugh Track
Laughter's ability to diffuse stress is just one of many reasons why it's a critical
part of a child's development.
Having a sense of humor plays an important role in
developing self-esteem, learning to problem solve, and honing social skills, explains
Louis Franzini, PhD, author of Kids Who Laugh: How to Develop Your Child's Sense
of Humor (Square One, 2002). "It's one of the most desirable personality traits,"
he says. "And parents can, without a doubt, help foster it." Happily, it's one skill
you'll reinforce with pleasure. Here's how to tickle your little guy's funny bone
as he grows.
As we all know, humor takes a wide variety of forms -- in word play, visual jokes,
or simply using the element of surprise. But most experts agree that the root of
humor is taking something in its familiar form and turning it upside down or making
it offbeat.
That's why very young babies really don't have a sense of humor -- they're still
learning how the world looks, feels, and sounds in an ordinary context, so they
don't "get the joke" when something's out of whack. Hence, a baby's first peals
of laughter at around 4 months tend to be a response to arousal. A ride on a bouncing
knee, for instance, gets a laugh because it's physically stimulating.
But just a few months later, funny sounds coming from a toy will evoke a smile or
a laugh. Starting around the 6-month mark, babies have enough information about
the world around them to be surprised -- and delighted -- at the unexpected. "Infants
experience pleasure from processing information that's a little bit new and a little
bit similar," says Paul E. McGhee, PhD, a developmental psychologist and author
of Understanding and Promoting the Development of Children's Humor (Kendall/Hunt,
2002).
Peekaboo becomes a funny-bone favorite now, and almost anything that is decidedly
out of their ordinary realm of experience gives kids the giggles. Adam Perlman loves
to pretend to drink out of a sippy cup just to get his 1-year-old son's reaction.
"As soon as I put it in my mouth, Charlie cracks up," says the Randolph, father
of five. "I'm his favorite comedian!" Understanding that Daddy is a grown-up and
doesn't drink out of sippy cups is where a child's sense of humor begins, explains
McGhee.
A leap in cognitive development during your child's second year enables him to grasp
auditory and visual jokes, ex- plains Kimberly Zimlich, MD, a pediatrician. "By
their second birthday, kids have a basic mastery of simple rules and patterns. Hence,
they appreciate the humor in breaking them," she says. If, for instance, your child
knows for sure that the cow says "moo," she might find it very funny if you took
a stuffed cat or dog and made it say "moo."
As language skills develop, word play becomes a big part of toddler humor. Anything
that rhymes is funny to 2-1/2-year-old Piper Samuels. "She also thinks it's hysterical
to sing in a goofy voice," says her mother, Dina.
A child's sense of humor really takes flight when she starts enjoying imaginative
play around age 3. Preschoolers love to make their own jokes -- showing up in Mom's
high heels to get Grandma laughing, changing the ending of a favorite song to nonsense
words, or even telling silly knock-knock jokes (though sometimes with completely
indecipherable punch lines!).
Let the Good Times Roll
Having a good sense of humor is much more important than just having the ability
to tell funny jokes. It's a frame of mind that allows you to see the lighter side
of life. "Humor transforms reality to help us cope with stressful experiences,"
says Tom Cottle, PhD, a psychologist. Identifying and enjoying the sillier stuff
in life makes it easier to handle tougher times.
Humor also plays an enormous role in self-esteem. "Since children with a good sense
of humor tend to be more popular and form friendships more readily, they generally
feel better about themselves," explains McGhee. And let's not forget the healing
power of humor; a child who can make a friend laugh when she's feeling blue is one
who understands the importance of empathy and sympathy. Similarly, a child who can
laugh at himself when he makes a mistake has an easier time accepting imperfection
and is less afraid to attempt the task again.
What's So Funny?
Of course, not all kinds of comedy deserve our praise. Humor can be hurtful or just
plain gross, says Cottle. And what one group finds hysterical, another may find
offensive. "It can be very confusing to children," he adds, "because some of the
most socially unacceptable things are a riot."
For toddlers, such humor usually centers around all things bathroom-related. "Right
around potty-training time, children become fascinated with their body, its functions,
and what comes out of it," explains Timothy Jay, PhD, a professor of psychology
at the Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts, and author of What to Do When Your
Kids Talk Dirty (Resource, 1997).
Obsessing over poop and pee is a totally normal way for children to deal with the
challenge of managing bodily functions; gaining such control can be daunting for
a young child. Experts suggest taking this phase in stride. Overreacting to bathroom
humor may unwittingly reinforce the idea that it's taboo, which only makes it funnier
to toddlers; they live to get a rise out of Mom or Dad. "Bathroom humor is a way
children test the boundaries of social acceptability," says Franzini. "The trick
for parents is to set appropriate limits without making too much of a big deal out
of these situations."
So if your child tries a stunt like pulling down his pants in the supermarket or
yells "Poop!" in public at every opportunity, Jay suggests the following strategy:
"Simply say, 'We don't use toilet humor here,' or 'Yes, that was funny, but once
is enough,' then try to divert your child's attention."
Good Humor
There's good reason for the whole family to laugh it up. Studies show that laughter
lowers blood pressure, improves circulation, and strengthens the immune system.
A key to fostering a good sense of humor in our children is to be a good role model.
Poke fun at yourself when you spill milk and send the message that it's okay to
make mistakes. Encourage your child to share funny observations, and make it a priority
to do something silly together every day, suggests Franzini.
Simple things such as making a sandwich talk or putting a baseball hat on the dog
reinforces the idea that humor makes life a lot more enjoyable. An added bonus:
It fosters creative thinking. "Part of the power of humor is that it cultivates
the habit of looking at things from an unusual angle," says McGhee. As a result,
your child will be better prepared to solve problems and see other people's particular
points of view -- invaluable skills that will serve him well in the future.
So encourage your little one to bust out his best duck waddle or turn your Tupperware
into a top hat. By creating time and space where our kids are free to be silly,
we allow them to be the funny little people that they are naturally.
How to Make Baby Laugh
Here are some great ways to get the giggles together.
Newborn to Age 1
- Play "This Little Piggy" with gentle tickling.
- Say "Uh-oh!" with a silly voice and face whenever your baby deliberately drops
something.
- Play peekaboo and change your facial expression every time you reveal yourself.
Ages 1 to 2
- Play "chase/kiss": Crawl after baby ("I'm gonna get you!") and reward the capture
with snuggles.
- Make funny faces and encourage your child to imitate you.
- Sing and speak in rhyme.
Ages 2 to 4
- Break out your old camp songs with their silly choruses.
- Play dress up: Encourage your child to put on your clothes and pretend to put
on his.
- Have fun with food: Make a smiley face with Cheerios.
By Emily Perlman Abedon, a mother of four, is a writer based in Charleston, South
Carolina. Originally published in American Baby magazine, October 2004. This article
is kindly provided by:
